I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm really busy with my period
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