evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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