Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
