It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
