also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
