well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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