I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
