Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
