so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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