my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
