just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
