Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
