just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
