how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
