Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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