It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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