All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
