This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
