I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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