is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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