and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
