Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize