You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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