Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
