I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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