his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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