Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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