Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
