Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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