And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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