Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
