I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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