He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
