At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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