I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
my liver is dry heaving
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
