I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
