If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
