I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I believe in your delicious
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize