we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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