Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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