We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Im part way to drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
