508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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