Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Alive.
So much puke
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
