dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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