Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
