i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm at about main and main street
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
