Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
