Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
