there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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