okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
