What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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