so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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