Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
