you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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