She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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