butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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