Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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