how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
