Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
