You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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