You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
