"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
