Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
PANTIES FOUND
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