Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
