i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I deserve this hangover.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
His nipple licking is glorious
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